What on earth have I gotten myself into? Am I really one of those people who writes and publishes their thoughts? Well, the answer to that is kind of yes, but mostly no! Let me try to explain …
In 2016 I set myself the challenge to write a weekly devotional article as part of my ministry role at the time. As the queen of procrastinating it was one of the most frustrating things for me to have to meet a regular deadline, but for 45 weeks of that year some written thoughts were made available via our website and they seemed to resonate with people. While that is reassuring, this experience taught me that I can take the ordinary things that happen in my life and look at them through the lense of God at work in my world.
At the end of that year I had a change in role and so no longer needed to share my thoughts in written form. I have since recognised that by not having the self-imposed pressure of producing a written observation each 7 days I have not been as ready to see the Divine Imprint on all aspects of existence. So for primarily my own benefit and discipling I have set myself a new challenge of a weekly written thought that identifies God at work in my life.
By making it public I have added, I believe, greater motivation to stick to my commitment. This increased motivation causes me to ask, “Why should it matter? Why would my perception that others now know about my challenge keep me more accountable? Shouldn’t my ‘yes’ mean ‘yes’?” And yet I know that I have been planning to do this on and off for eighteen months, but with no results. So by letting the wider world know my intentions it somehow moves it from the theoretical to the actual.
At the heart of it I think it has to do with my desire to meet people’s expectations. I don’t like the idea that I may be letting people down. Let me say, this is not a good recipe for a church minister because I am forever leaving gaps between what I do, and what people want me to do. My desire is for people to be able to depend on me, which is a good thing, but I can only do a certain amount of things and the reality is I will never live up to everyone’s expectations all of the time.
Sometimes this can be quite debilitating, and then I remember that I do not answer to people and their opinions of me, but to God, as it is Him who has been challenging me to put pen to paper (or fingers to keyboard) so it is His stamp of approval I seek. Galatians chapter 1 verse 10 reminds me that if I am trying to please people I cannot be a servant of Christ, and that’s what I want to be.
So here it is … my blog … where I will endeavour to post a thought once a week. I do this to honour God, and the gifts He has given me. You are welcome to join me for the ride, and keep me accountable!