Last week I attempted to write my regular blog post and you may or may not have noticed, but a post did not go up. You see, most weeks I know well in advance what I am thinking to write about and while I may not have it all planned out, I at least have an incident or a topic to base some thoughts around. Then there are other weeks when I feel stuck for inspiration and last week was one of these.
While I believe that God always gives me blessings to highlight and share observations about, there are some weeks that they are less obvious for me. Usually, once I get started on a subject I will be able to capture the random insights and wrestle them into some coherent ramblings. It will take longer but I get there in the end and manage to publish another weekly instalment.
For some reason last week was especially difficult and as I sat down to put words together I found myself staring at a blank page – a vast expanse of white that seemed to stretch on and on. The curser was flashing, eagerly waiting for the characters to form articulate sentences, but instead it was almost mocking my inability to even begin.
I kept putting the task aside, hoping that inspiration would hit while I did other things … nothing. I tried thinking long and hard over my experiences for the week … still nothing. And then my unofficial deadline for when I post passed and I decided that I could always write something later. I tried all week, without success and feeling more and more frustrated by my lack of results.
So after a full seven days I now find myself drawing inspiration from my lack of inspiration!
There are times I am not a fan of the blank page. While for some it can speak of promise where anything is possible I can often find myself too scared to write something, anything, for fear of messing up and not fulfilling the potential that it holds. I have the same situation with new journals, paper diaries or exercise books. I love the thought of them, but hate the prospect of making an error and so resist doing anything.
As I reflect upon the dilemma I face and what God can teach me about this situation I am mindful of the opportunity we have with Him to start afresh if we manage to make a mess of things. We need to own up to our mistakes and he offers us a clean page to begin again. In 1 John chapter 1 verse 9 it tells us that “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” This thought should give me enough courage to know that even if I do mess up God allows me the opportunity to try again.
I am so very grateful for the fact that I love and serve a God of second chances.