Feeling ‘Stuck’

I have been really struggling with my mental health lately, worse than I have faced for a number of years. As a result of this, I have this feeling of being ‘stuck’ in a number of areas of my life. I look at what I would normally do and find that I am almost paralysed with knowing how to move forward.

One of the tasks I have found difficult is my regular blog post. The last time I was able to write something was 4 weeks ago, my longest break in posting since I began 18 months ago. Yet, every time I tried to write something it felt too hard. So much self-doubt would wash over me that I couldn’t think clearly enough to put fingers to keyboard. So my strategy for today is, rather than focus on the obstacles, I am going to concentrate on the little things that have blessed me today.

My morning started with making our traditional Sunday dark chocolate chip pancakes with strawberries and cream. It is such a delight to nurture my family in this routine and I am grateful that I live in a country that has such beautiful, fresh produce in high supply.

I watched our pre-recorded church service as it was uploaded to our Facebook page. In these strange and unusual times I am grateful for the blessing of technology and talented congregational leaders that can help us to continue to teach and connect.

My family took advantage of an amazingly beautiful day and go for a walk in one of our local bushland locations. It was such a lovely experience to be in nature and hear the various bird calls, see the sunlight dance off the river and observe the gorgeous surroundings that are literally a five minute drive from our home. I am grateful for the region in which I live and the natural beauty contained therein.

Lunch today was a grazing platter my lovely husband, David, arranged. As we were consuming, we enjoyed watching a classic tv episode of Wonder Woman, while I continued knitting my latest project. These are simple family memory-making moments that I cherish and am continually grateful for.

I supervised my L-plate driving daughter for a quick trip to purchase a few necessary bits and pieces. We live in such a blessed country that has a bountiful supply of product available.

My daughter is also wanting to learn to roller skate, so after allowing her to use my classic white boot roller skates I took the opportunity to demonstrate to my children that I can actually skate! I am proud that at 52 years of age I can still take the opportunity to play and grateful that I am physically still able to.

Dinner this evening was a revisit of my childhood too, as I had some porcupine meatballs in the slow cooker. For the uninitiated, these are minced beef and rice meatballs that are cooked in tomato soup concentrate. As they cook, the rice grains stick out like spikes of a porcupine and whenever I cook this dish I am reminded of my mum as she prepared meals for our family night after night. I am grateful for the example she set and the love she demonstrated by providing nutritious and tasty meals (except for that one time she made peanut butter chicken!!!)

As I have reflected over my day I can’t help but see how awesome and blessed my day has been, and by writing about it I have achieved something that symbolises I don’t need to feel ‘stuck’ any longer. When I focus on my blessed moments, and who provides me with them, my mindset can’t help but become less bleak.

“Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you.” Psalm 84:12

Be blessed.

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